Monday, December 31

XXX


 

Just kill me, please?

Nobody knows how lonely I am at this very time of the year except me, myself and I. I just feel like it's a normal day... well, night. Except that it's not this noisy every time.Well, it happens every holidays - Christmas and New Years. I've never been so happy for those days. I'd probably be if I won't celebrate in this deep shit, null and worthless house. I can't call this a home. Y'all know how different those terms are, right? The only ones who may probably know the reasons why I act this way are those who are close to me. 

As a preview, I'll tell a little background about me and my family. I'm an only child. Some people say that it's the greatest thing ever, but for me, it isn't. Never. Being an only child gives me some perks of having some (not all) of the things I want. But that's just it! Being an only child gives me hell. All the fucking attention are on me, on everything I do or say. It's not funny. I didn't have a childhood. I remember some memories when I was still a kid but they're of no value, really.

That sneak-peek is probably enough for me to show how rubbish and hideous my life is. Anyway, this is all about this holiday so this is gonna be real quick.

Fuck new years because nothing's really changing in my life. I'm still celebrating in this dark house and all of this is fake, fake, fake and FAKE. I'm just not that happy, you know. I've been so bitter, acting and pretending like everybody else saying a Happy New Year to each other online. Do these people know what's happening here inside our house? Does anybody know? No one. It's just the three of us and you won't believe it until you're one of our neighbors or relatives.

I'm acting tougher and tougher every time, but I know how messed up this life is for all of us in the family. Yeah, they can put the blame on me but all my curses are on them, especially him. It's hard to be tough but there's no room for the weak here.

And, for the record, this holiday is so far the most OK. 

But there's one thing that's really bothering me most... where's my baby? No sign of her. You shouldn't be an addition to my heavy loads this new year. You should be the one calming me down, but where the fuck are you?

Friday, December 28

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That is the code I needed to submit this blog to Technorati. I just don't get it. Why do we, bloggers, need to do that?

Monday, December 10

A 21st Birthday List of 21 Things

Despite of the "cat" tragedy that we're currently experiencing, I think it's also better to show and tell how contented I am with my life right now.

Five minutes before my birthday and I'm still recuperating on everything that has happened and has been happening now.

I'll just list 21 things that I'm really grateful for the last 20 years I've been living in this great, big and wild world. This list is in no particular order.

Feline Panleukopenia Virus

That title is so unusual, right?

Well, that's the greatest gift I can have on my birthday. It really isn't. As cat-lovers out there may know, Feline Panleukopenia Virus, is the most INSIDIOUS cat disease. According to this site, it's the most highly infectious and quick-killing cat disease as well. On the other side, the people who know me must've know that tomorrow's my 21st birthday. I don't feel it, I really don't. I don't feel like celebrating as well.

So what's the point?